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Title: Green Eyes

Author: HideSeekKeep

Pairing: Meredith/Derek

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don’t own “Grey’s Anatomy." Nor do I condone riding motorcycles without helmets.

~*~

Meredith Grey was not supposed to be in Manhattan. She was supposed to be at Dartmouth, in a library somewhere, studying for final exams. Exams that were important, exams that counted for a third of her grade…exams that started tomorrow.

But here she was, in New York, lured by the promise of watching one of her favorite bands, The Go-Go’s, perform at CBGB. She couldn’t help it if they happened to be performing the weekend before finals and she particularly couldn’t help it if the tickets had been given to her by her own mother. Of course, once again, her mother had completely overlooked the fact that Meredith would still be in classes when she had bought the tickets as a “please-forgive-me-for-forgetting-your-birthday” gift, but a little forgetfulness on her mother’s part was no longer a surprise to her anymore.

And why did final exams matter anyway? Meredith knew she was famous for being the family screw-up; it wouldn’t be a shock to anyone if she failed a few tests. Sure, she would get an earful from her mother about her flagging grades, but she knew the argument would be dropped as soon as her mother got a page from the hospital. It didn’t matter. Meredith didn’t know what the hell she was doing with her life anyway.

So here she was, in the heart of Manhattan, determination in her green eyes not to let the thought of finals ruin her night. Right now, Meredith Grey was going to enjoy life.

~*~

Derek Shepherd needed some air.

New York could be stifling sometimes and particularly so tonight, as he and his wife of one year were already reaching a point in their marriage where sex was no longer a regular event. He didn’t expect it to be a daily occurrence but, hell, it hadn’t really been happening at all lately.

He understood. He really did. He knew that a career as a surgical resident could be grueling and take a lot out of a person. He was living the same life himself. But he had needs and those needs were notbeing met.

Derek sighed as he checked his watch. Addison was still at the hospital and he was supposed to be meeting at Mark’s in a bit to have some drinks. He wasn’t too sure, however, how much he wanted to go anymore. He knew he would hear an ear load from Mark about his latest sexual exploits—the cute nurse he had screwed in the on-call room or the sexy intern who just couldn’t keep her hands to herself—and this was all something Derek definitely did not need to be hearing right now. What I would do for a good surgery.

But still, hanging out with Mark sounded a lot better than staying cooped up in his Manhattan apartment alone. He pulled on a jacket and grabbed the keys to his Harley.

Taking a look at the helmet hanging by the door, Derek immediately heard Mark’s voice ringing in his head. A helmet, Derek? You know real men don’t wear helmets. He was already going to be made fun of by Mark for not getting an action from Addison; he couldn’t take more insults to his masculinity tonight. Mark lived only a few blocks away anyhow. And without the helmet, it would give his hair that sexy tousled look everyone seemed to like so much. Perhaps when he came back, Addison would remember just what she had been missing.

What the hell, he thought.

~*~

Stepping out of the CBGB doorway, Meredith was surprised to be met with a blast of wind and rain.

Of course it would be raining, she thought. She was already frustrated, having to leave the concert early in order to catch her 11:00 bus back. The last remaining logical part of her brain had been sure to book return tickets that would get her back to school in time for her first exam (perhaps with a few hours to spare for some last-minute cramming). Being forced to miss what would probably have been the brilliant conclusion to an already wonderful show, the rain seemed to be an appropriate way to start the journey back. Not having come prepared for inclement weather, she forced her coat above her head to shield her from the rain and made her way to the bus station.

Before she even made it a few blocks, she turned a corner into a side street and was surprised to see two dark lumps in the middle of the road. As she got closer, she realized that the smaller form was a fallen man.

“Someone call an ambulance!” she yelled as loudly as she could to no one in particular as she ran beside the stranger.

He was unconscious and wasn’t moving, his head half submerged in a large puddle that took up almost all the road. He must have hydroplaned, she thought, looking at the motorcycle strewn further down the street. She knelt beside him and gently lifted his head from the water. She searched for a pulse and found it, letting out a sigh of relief at the same time. He still, however, was not conscious.

“Please, please, wake up. You have to wake up.”

How long had he been out? She looked at the motorcycle and noticed steam rising from its metal body as raindrops hit it. It was a good sign; the man must not have fallen too long ago and it meant he hadn’t been unconscious for a prolonged period of time.

The man started shifting his head a little, which was cradled in her lap. With one arm she held part of her coat above his head, shielding it from the rain.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Stupid question, Grey, of course he’s not okay. “Can you talk for me? Can you tell me your name?”

He began to lift his eyelids painfully and she was met with piercing blue eyes.

“Der…Derek,” he managed to stutter.

“Derek? That’s your name? Good, good. Derek, I’m here to help you, okay? I’m Meredith. Try not to move too much. You’ve had an accident.”

She wasn’t supposed to know what to do in a situation like this but it appeared that hanging around in hospitals waiting for her mother to finish her shifts had taught her a thing or two about emergency protocol. She found herself checking his pupils, asking him to move his fingers and toes. He had a nasty gash on his forehead but it didn’t look like anything a few stitches couldn’t fix.

“Who…who are you?”

It also seemed like he was suffering from some memory loss, probably signs of a concussion. She would have scolded him for his stupidity in not having worn a helmet but she was too concerned with making sure that he was okay—or perhaps it was the way his cologne made her feel just a little bit heady.

“I’m Meredith,” she replied. “You’ve had an accident.”

“Mer-e-dith,” he seemed to be testing the name on his tongue. “Where…where am I?”

“Well, I don’t really know the answer to that myself. But what I do know is that you’ve had a nasty fall and I, lucky for you, have come to your rescue,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I thought the guy was supposed to be the one to save the pretty girl,” he responded sleepily.

She figured it probably wasn’t appropriate to make an argument with a concussed man about the capabilities of women in protecting themselves—added to the fact that he was rather handsome and had called her pretty—so she decided to follow up with, “You can be my knight some other day, okay?”

“Ooh-kay,” he responded contentedly before closing his eyes again.

“Hey! Hey! Wake up. You’ve gotta stay with me, all right?” She found his hand and squeezed it firmly.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked straight into hers. In that moment, Meredith could have sworn that her heart skipped a beat.

Unfortunately for her, his memory loss did nothing for the moment.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Mer--” she stopped herself, deciding that she wouldn’t give him her name again. It wouldn’t matter anyway; he wouldn’t remember it in another few minutes.

“I’m…just a girl.”

~*~

Fortunately, someone passing by had heard Meredith’s earlier pleas for help and had called the paramedics. They had arrived quickly enough, much to Meredith’s relief.

“Are you his family? Girlfriend?” a paramedic asked her as they loaded the injured man into the ambulance.

“No, I just…was here,” she answered, although for a split second she had been oddly tempted to reply in the affirmative.

“We appreciate your help in this matter, miss,” the man told her after she had given him a description of what had happened. “He could have been left here on the road for hours and who knows what could have happened to him. You know, we normally only have kin on the ambulance with us but I think we can make an exception this time. Would you like to come with us and make sure this gentleman is all right?”

As much as she was tempted to find out the fate of this handsome stranger, she knew he would be okay. Holding his hand earlier, she had felt the wedding band so firmly attached to his ring finger. She knew he had someone to look out for him when he woke up. He didn’t need her. Plus, she hated to admit, she had a bus to catch.

“No, that won’t be necessary, sir. Thank you. I appreciate the offer.”

“All right then, miss. Well, if you change your mind, we’ll be taking him to Manhattan Memorial, just a few blocks away from here.”

“Thank you.”

She watched the paramedic get into the driver’s seat and then took one last glimpse at the man she had helped before the other paramedics shut the back doors on the vehicle. Derek. His name had been Derek.

The ambulance sped down the street and disappeared as it turned a corner. Meredith sighed to herself and decided there was nothing else to do but make her way to the bus station. Finals awaited.

~*~

Derek stirred to consciousness an hour later, lying in a clean hospital bed, a bandage on his forehead and a sharp throbbing emanating from his head. He feared to open his eyes, already knowing that the light would be painful to his sight.

As the drowsiness began to disappear, he soon realized he was not alone. His hand was being held firmly by another. It was a reassuring feeling that he took great comfort in.

Finally opening his eyes, Derek was oddly disappointed to find that the hand’s owner was his wife.

“God, Derek, I was so worried about you!” a very anxious Addison cried as she saw his eyes upon her.

He smiled a little at her concern.

“—What the hell inspired you to go off on your motorcycle and not wear a helmet? I swear, Derek, how could you have been so reckless? You’re a doctor, for Christ sake…”

His smile soon faded as he was forced to listen to Addison list off the number of motorcycle fatalities that happened every year and the amount of money his hands were worth and the reasons why he was arguably the dumbest man in the entire world. Her scolding soon stopped as she realized that Derek was not listening to her.

“Do you remember anything about the accident?” she asked him after a period of silence.

He strained hard, trying to figure out the events that had transpired just a few hours ago. He vaguely recalled the crash and the fall but not much else.

And then something came to his mind, a flash of something he couldn’t quite place. There had been someone there, someone who had helped him, perhaps even saved him. He couldn’t remember any details, couldn’t make out a face. But he saw worried green eyes and heard the whisper of a name.

Meredith.

Author's Note: First off, let me once again reiterate that I do not condone riding motorcycles without helmets in any way. I have no intention of supporting such behavior but, for the purposes of this story, Derek couldn't possibly have been wearing the proper protective gear.

Overall though, I hope readers enjoyed this little one-shot. Derek’s quote in Season 1, Episode 8 about his scar being the reason he didn’t ride motorcycles anymore had always intrigued me and I figured I would play with canon a little bit and write something that gave a little more history to Meredith and Derek.

If you enjoyed, please review! You’d make me a very happy person.

 

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Green Eyes" by Coldplay

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Title: Hope for a Happy Ending

Author: HideSeekKeep

Pairing: Meredith/Derek

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don’t own “Grey’s Anatomy”

Author’s Note: A hopeful one-shot in Meredith’s POV set post-season 3 finale because it was just too darn depressing and I needed something to pick me up. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it too (after all the initial angst, that is).

~*~

When you were four years old, you desperately believed in happy endings. You would listen to the stories of the fairy tale princesses and put yourself in their place. Sitting on the living room ottoman, you pretended that Prince Charming was putting the glass slipper on your shoe. Or you would lie in bed with eyes squeezed tightly shut and wait for true love’s first kiss to awaken you from your slumber. Everything seemed so likely then and you thought happily ever after might not be reserved just for the storybooks.

And then, at the age of five, your father left and happy endings no longer seemed like a possibility. Your mother scolded you for admiring the fairy tale princesses, because they were all so terribly weak, waiting for someone to save them from evil spells and wicked witches and seeming to do nothing in the meanwhile to change their circumstances. She told you it was only reality that you should concern yourself with and, unfortunately, reality could be very, very ugly. Your dolls were soon discarded and the Disney videos replaced on the shelves by surgical tapes.

You held onto hope though. Secretly, deep down in your heart, you thought maybe, just maybe, Prince Charming was still out there. In freshman year of high school, Andrew Washington seemed to fit the bill perfectly. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain of the football team, he was everything a girl could want. And when he showed sudden interest in plain, old Meredith Grey, it seemed like Prince Charming had found you after all. You shared six months of veritable bliss…until you caught him going to second base with Cindy Rochelle, the leggy and fabulous head cheerleader, under the bleachers by the track.

As you got older, the boys only seemed to want one thing and you began to oblige. Who needed happily ever after when you could live happily right now? The boys were usually handsome and, with the help of a few shots of tequila, they could appear as charming as you wanted them to. And in the morning, you would kick them out as easily as you had let them in and there would be absolutely no remorse. Because there was no hope left for Prince Charmings and happy endings for Meredith Grey.

And then Derek Shepherd came into your life. Derek freakin’ Shepherd, who was dreamy and handsome and whose smile made your heart melt the first time you saw it. And despite the fact that you had done your typical kick-the-guy-out-in-the-morning routine AND he turned out to be your boss AND your own boss later caught you half-naked together in his car, you managed to develop something with him that was special. Something that—dare you say it—could last. And so hope reared its ugly little head again and you tried to push it away because Prince Charming didn’t exist, remember? And he certainly didn’t pick up girls in bars.

And you turned out to be right because, once again, someone leggy and fabulous had managed to shatter your dreams. And you reverted to your old ways of downing shots of tequila and sleeping with inappropriate men because you desperately wanted to fill that hole in your heart (you just didn’t realize you were making it bigger). You almost died with your hand on a bomb—but didn’t—and there was still no prince who came to your rescue. You had no one but yourself. And when you later found out you had a half-sister who was newly married and pregnant and freakin’ glowing, you realized that happy endings DO exist…just not for you.


But something funny happens. You find yourself becoming a prom-night cliché and having sex with the handsomest guy at the dance. And after torturous months apart, Derek Shepherd finds his way back to you. But the writers of your story won’t give you your happy ending. It turns out that you snore and that you just might be ordinary, so you don’t swim and pretty much die but you come back just so your boyfriend won’t stop believing in happily ever after (now if that isn’t romantic, you don’t know what is).


But even after your struggle to return to the land of the living, all is not well. Derek becomes overbearing and then he becomes distant; in general, he acts very un-McDreamy-like. And your real mom has died and then fake-mommy dies and then your dad slaps you and comes back a second time to give you another slap in the face (this time not physical). And you almost fail your intern test and your boyfriend reveals he met another girl at a bar last night. And it all seems like TOO MUCH. Your life has fallen apart and, if you thought there wasn’t a chance for a happily ever after before, it pretty much is impossible now.


But then that damn thing called hope enters your heart once again. In this mess that is your life, Cristina’s impending wedding to Burke is your last chance for something good and you cling to it with all you’ve got. People like you and Cristina don’t normally get happy endings but here it is, just a walk down the aisle away. All it takes is for Cristina to suck it up and, when she does, your heart begins to sing. Because this is it. Despite all the crap that has happened over the past year, this…THIS is going to be the start of many good things.


And then once again it all comes crumbling down and the fairy tale is over. So over.


~*~

As you lay in your (empty) bed tonight, you wonder what’s become of the past year. It appears that the answer is nothing, absolutely nothing. You feel like you’re back at square one, only with more dark-and-twistiness than ever before.

You curl into your blanket and you can still smell the scent of him on your sheets.


The door creaks open and you tell Izzie to leave you alone tonight because you’re just not up for talking or chocolate chip cookies. But the voice that comes from the door is not Izzie. It’s the last person you would have expected that night.


You tell him to go away and bury yourself even further into your blanket. He’s probably come to get his stuff, to return his key…to leave.


And he takes you in his arms and he just holds you. You resist, you try to push him away, to escape from your problems and the pain. You, Meredith Grey, are a bona fide avoider. You run away to save face, so that the other person can’t hurt you first. And right now all you want to do is just that. You don’t want to have to hear the hurt tone in his voice or a laundry list of all your faults. You don’t want to hear him say goodbye.


But he holding on tight. He’s not letting you go. He’s not letting you push him away so that you can run. And he’s not running away this time either. He says he is going to fight for you, no matter what happens. He tells you you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He says he loves you like he’s never loved anyone before. He promises to be the one who STAYS.


And before long, you stop resisting and the tears start to come.


You’ve both broken each other so badly and it feels like the two of you are beyond saving. Perhaps it would be easier to just let go. But then hope—that DAMNED hope—rises in your heart again and this time…this time you think you won’t kick it out as easily as you did before. This time you think you might let it stay awhile.


You realize you’re not a pretty fairy tale princess. You’re a warrior, who has fought and bled, who has suffered and learned, and who picks herself up every time. You don’t need saving from some knight in shining…whatever. It’s always just been you all along.


But you realize you wouldn’t mind having someone to fight by your side.


And as he whispers pretty words of love and forever in your ear, you think that maybe, just maybe, you CAN be one of those people who gets a happy ending. But not just yet. It’s a new year for you and for now you’ll settle for a happy beginning.


UPDATE FROM 09/14/07: So I've made some very, very slight edits since my last update but I still want to give my sincerest thanks for anyone out there reading (and who have read) my first "Grey's Anatomy" fic!  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Reviews are greatly appreciated!


I've also got a couple of other MerDer one-shots in the works and hopefully I'll end up getting my act together long enough so that I can actually complete one.

 

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: "Happy Ending" by Mika

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